Grace, which one?

Last night while at my men's group came the Epiphany. We were discussing shame, the answer to shame, Grace. The power of the true understanding of Christ's blood having been shed for me. This group last night was a charge to me, rejuvenating, stimulating and convicting. His blood was shed over my "will." First, I Praise to Him for the ministry I serve, Second, the Pastoral integrity in which I learn.

We were talking around and reading from "Pure Desire" by Ted Roberts. In fact to pound home the facts of Pastor's message on "My Generation" this past Sunday, generational sin (www.stevenfurtick.com). That is a topic for another day.

Let me set this up better in the hopes of understanding, this may not make sense i will do the best I can!
Back to Grace, here is a thought that I wrote in the column of the book one of the last times we read this book. "Living in shame is to deny what Christ has done for me," The Grace in which He died for me. "Every time we think we have fully comprehended what was accomplished on the cross at Calvary, we discover an aspect of our lives that was redeemed there that we never realized. The Cross is infinite in its depth, because it is a total expression of God's grace to us in Christ."

Here is a thought that came out of this last night. "Grace by which I sin (allowing me to sin, because I am forgiven) & Grace in which I win."

Which Grace is it that I choose to live. By Grace we are forgiven, yes undeniable absolute truth. Our discussion goes on to someone struggling with a particular sin, reoccurring. This is not to point to him about this, it is to draw a parallel of my life. It is far too easy to blurt out the "I am forgiven" for my worldly behaviors, for falling...for failing to live my end of the Grace. In my life at one time I could justify or rationalize suicide. My point is I could talk myself anywhere and find justification. To minimize what has been done on my behalf (Isa. 53:5). I have to walk in complete understanding of my responsibility to the Cross. If I continue to accept falling short, accepting sin in my life (because I am forgiven)then I am limiting the power in which I profess to believe. This does not mean I am without sin, by no means, it means I am addressing my sin. I must understand I have been given hope to succeed. Col. 2:13-14 I have a standard in which I must strive, to be washed in His shed blood, "it was nailed to the cross."

"Grace in which I win" is how I pray that I may live. I pray that I have trudged through the forest to find this truth in my life. Not to accept mediocrity, to justify my behaviors, to know that I have the hope to walk free from the bondage of sin. To work the full and deep meaning of the sufferings of Christ on my behalf into the very fabric of my life. I must uphold my end of the Salvation, to know that I matter to Christ. I can not accept the world's standards of behavior. My bench mark of standard can not be focused on the world, it must be of the Grace provided by the Cross, at Gethsemane and a crown of thorns.

"God's most powerful weapon, Grace, has been cast aside in our efforts to be spiritually pure. The modern day Pharisee who focuses on avoiding sin is still focused on sin. In fact, he is little different from the person who is consumed by sin. Both are obsessed with sin - one to avoid it, the other to live in it." "Pure Desire" Dr. Ted Roberts

I can not live in shame of sin, for I have been set free.
I must live in the freedom by which He has suffer for me.
I choose to live by the Grace that has set me free,
this is what He wants from me.
Search my heart that I may find Your Grace in which to win
No longer may I set my sights on sin, to accept that I am forgiven
May I continue to grow & understand what you have done for me....

Hebrews 4:15-16 " .....we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are - yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."