Learning from the crowd...

John Bishop's blog title was "leading from the middle of the pack." I have been intriqued by that thought since I first saw the words. I was a follower never knowing how to lead. Today, I believe those words to be true in my life.

I have needed to be a part of "the crowd." Always it was the wrong one, because it was the wrong reasons. Not equiped as a child, my parents struggled to find their own purpose. I never seemed to find affirmation, so my best shot was a group of people. Surrendering anything I had in constant pursuit of fitting in, ending empty and hollow just as I had started. Loosing more of what I once knew and believed. I wanted to do whatever it took to be noticed, recognized, appreciated....to fill a frightening void. To mask the pain of being Fatherless. Ultimately the crowd was a buffer & distraction to the pain inside.

It will never matter what crowd it is, if I'm seeking self worth outside of a personal relationship with Christ. Even as a new believer I did not know how it worked. So I sought a group. I served, studied, joined, participated and gave only to remain empty and void. I could never completely give myself to living right, because I did not know how to reach out. I was following the crowd, not even knowing the purpose of the crowd. I did not know the theology of my beliefs, I was seeking others to build and do for me what I could not do for myself.

Then I was profoundly impacted by Luke 8:40-48. Here's another crowd following Jesus, many of them too may have been following for unknown reasons, just to be a part. What I see in this story was the fact that this woman would stop at nothing to be healed, she had tried everything with the same results. It was not enough to simply "rub against Christ or just catching a glimpse,"  as part of the crowd. She "engaged" by reaching out, touching the Son of God. When He acknowledged that power passed from Him asking "who..." the crowd probably stepped back from Him & she could not hide. By her reaching out she ended up with a personal relationship with Christ.

Bottom line where ever you find yourself engage personally with the Savior. When everything fails you, when you are alone and empty, reach out, the King of Glory is merciful and mighty. Then it does not matter if you're in a crowd, any crowd or all alone...your strength comes from above, the power will flow from Him. And now it has come to pass...I can lead others from the middle of the pack, so they know to reach for Him.