Confused & Conflicted

I guess the greatest reward of posting here, as with journaling is I have the say in what I can write. I was talking with a friend yesterday, he had spoken at an event, afterwards met a man that responded to his message. Not a positive one, no he was questioning something he said. A qualification he used, as a matter of fact he used the qualification, My name is ...and I am a recovering .......

I was talking to a another friend, he was getting me up to speed on a situation in his life. That situation is that his wife has an alcohol addiction problem. I have had many conversations with this friend, what to do, how to help. As I listened all I can think was the words, "she was sober for almost 3 weeks, now it is like she does not even care, it's everyday again." I have heard these words over and over throughout my sobriety. The words of despair, someone (a loved one) pushed to the point of absolute frustration. Well really, there is nothing he can do for her if she is not willing to change, I explained white knuckling was what she was doing in this period of time. The insidiousness & insanity of this disease, recovery can not be done alone. The decision must take place in the individual heart, the powerlessness and unmanageably that this (any) addiction brings to the addict. All he can do at this point is whatever he needs to for him, take steps to preserve his sanity and protect himself from the destructive behaviors of a raging alcoholic.

Ok now back to the first friend, the individual he met was someone who owns a counseling center. He suggested that my friend is either recovered or not, "saved or not saved" I guess would be the best way to put it. This makes my blood boil, first off it is a semantic issue, I do not care what qualification someone has, it is just that. You may be recovered....., I however am still recovering, I still see the way my addictive personality can control my responses. Thus I continue on the road to recovery, yes 23 years removed from alcohol. Isn't the most important part (for me) that I am not an active alcoholic? It took me 10 years into my recovery before the Lord became my Savior, my higher power. I am frustrated by the fact that a counselor, can have such limited view of addiction. By the way, you sir are entitled to your opinion, but to think that you are counseling others scares me. I believe Jesus Christ is Savior in my life and the reason I am here today, it was through the process of recovery that He was revealed to me. I did not put down the drink, and just skip off into the night with a transformed heart. Thank God, He has allowed me to be human, make mistakes and not judged me by my actions. He has loved me through it.......all of it. Sir, I would welcome you to sit with my friend (#2) and his wife, in fact I would pay for it if I could to have the word "divorce" removed from their solution. I know I did not have enough faith in the beginning to know He can heal my wounds, and deliver me.

Here is the questions I ask, why is pornography such a festering wound in the hearts of men? These are men who are husbands, fathers, teachers, leaders, laborers, whatever.... these are Christians, believers just as among those who have no faith. Why does a drug addict, crave a high, and sell their soul to get one? Why does an alcoholic forget what that first drink will "drag the depths of hell into their living rooms all across America...again?" Why does shame and guilt assault an addict, keeping them in the noose of addiction, even though they know they should not be doing this?

This brings me again to the message from Pastor, Sunday (http://www.elevationchurch.org/), you can tell me what I need to change, but you have to fill this that is being removed with solutions, options. Yes, faith is a solution and the only long term strategy for success. My point to you sir, there is only one lottery winner among the millions who believe winning is this easy. So let's believe in the healing power of the Lord, the Grace of God, together. Let's also understand that you sir offer an option as well, your counsel. My opinion of the value of what you offer I will keep to myself......and ask Him for forgiveness! Let's not look down upon the qualification, rather look at the investment, the potential and harvest the hearts that do not know the power and grace of God, whatever the path may be.

God could pull me from the depths of hell, but would I look beyond the miracle of healing and forget the work involved to get here? "the process is the point..." Pastor, thank you for the ammo you bring into my heart, TAB!