angered

Yesterday, I almost popped as one of our lead guys made some remarks about not having drawings for a project he is working on. Well there is truth to what he was saying in point, how he was saying it annoyed me tremendously. Just after hearing Pastor share a message about honor, having honor for others, honoring the position....As I turned to walk away from him, he continued to mumble, I confronted him, asked him to repeat himself so I could hear his remarks. "If you have something to say I would appreciate the courtesy of telling me to my face."

What I have realized is I do not like the unknown, I like to know what I am up against, predictability is more favorable. Immediately, I am thrust back in time to the insecurities of childhood. It reminds me of growing up and never really knowing whether my father was serious or joking. Now I did not respond to the emotions of the moment, as I would have been more likely to have hurt the relationship rather than nurture. I am not comfortable "out of control," which really leads me to the insight. What is the underlying issue, what can I do to correct my responsibility? All I can ever change, me. My discomfort is the motivator to change, it is taking action and leaving the results up to Him. Taking this approach I can make more significant impact on me and the situations of life. Not allowing others to control my emotion, or having power, limiting my understanding of His Grace, "He has ransomed me." I need to remain focused on who I am in Him........I then honor others, despite the situations.